Visitation Right, Drug Allegation, Restraining Order - Advice For Parent Preparing For First Hearing

I recently received a plea from a distraught father who was concerned about his first child custody court hearing. His ex has made allegations of drug use, and has not let him see their child since they split up. She had also sought and received a restraining order. She had proposed 1 hour supervised visits, and a host of requirements (i.e. regular drug tests, hair, counseling, and access to all private medical records).

You see the thing that scared him was the same thing that scares most parents. The sliver of truth that is used to either imply wrongdoing or even worse the sliver that is used to build a false allegation. In fact he was a drug user. Opiates to be specific. Doesn’t that just sound wrong? Of course it does. But what she didn’t tell the court was why he used drugs.

You see this father was injured in a work related accident. The doctors attempted surgery to repair the damage to his body, but it didn’t work and they were forced to try and control his pain with the use of prescription medication. In fact his medical care was moved to a physician who specializes in Pain Management. As part of his regimen he is required to drug test regularly by his physician so they can monitor him and look for any signs of abnormalities.

Have you noticed the red flag here yet? If he never had a history of drug use while living with her, why does she feel she can prove drug use if she can get access to his medical records? Simple, she knows that she can because she has already breached his medical records online and wants to use them against him. We will come back to this issue a bit later.

Do you remember that restraining order that was issued? Well, as it turns out that was issued for verbal abuse and spanking (which he denies). There was no evidence presented for this motion. Now I believe that restraining orders should be readily available, but I also believe that visitation should always be addressed as a result and a qualified evaluator should screen the parties and make a recommendation.

By now you can understand his fear that he will not get to see his child. So how does he turn this around?

I don’t think the issue with the pain medication or drug allegations is a serious issue for the court. You see he has a note from his pain management doctor explaining the situation. So there is nothing illegal or underhanded at all. He is under that care of a doctor for work related pain. In fact I would use her in depth knowledge of the situation to cast doubt on her honesty. Somehow she gained access to confidential information. That seems like a poor decision to me.

My immediate concern with the first hearing, would then turn to the temporary visitation schedule. These have a way of becoming permanent. If you settle for a light schedule, to be nice, you will likely have it forever. The restraining order was honored and the father had not seen his child in months. In order to get visitation back on track he needs to ask for an emergency screening with the court evaluator. If there is no evidence to support a lack of visitation, the father could very well end up with a temporary schedule that is 50/50.