Strategies for Unwed Fathers to Win Custody

While times have changed considerably and long gone are the days when mothers were automatically given custody, the statistics still show that mothers get the bulk of custody. The statistics are even worse for unwed fathers getting custody. If the odds are so stacked against you should you even bother to try? Maybe things aren’t as bleak as they look.

I have looked at statistics from many different sources and no matter who the source is the numbers are always on the mothers side in custody battles. The numbers are even higher for mothers in cases where parents were unwed. The statistics vary from year to year and from source to source, but it is all a moot point. Unwed fathers face an uphill battle.

But when you delve deeper into the reasoning behind the numbers, is it any wonder that they look as bleak as they do? Probably not. In many cases the pregnancy is unexpected and the father isn’t interested in sticking around. In other cases the fathers are too young to share custody or take custody and the child spend most of their time with the mother and mother’s family. Just these cases alone will tip the scales in favor of mothers. But what about the rest of the cases?

If you don’t fit into one of the scenarios above, then your chances have just soared. The fact is that courts are focused on the “best interests of the child”. If you are a father who is involved in his child's life, knows and sticks to the routine, and is dedicated to being a good parent your chances of getting generous visitation have soared.

The biggest issue you face is setting a routine before getting your temporary visitation schedule. If you get a routine set that works for you then you have already won half the battle. If you haven’t and now face an uphill battle you will want to get to work immediately. You will want to be as involved as you can be, in as many routines as you can before your head to evaluation/assessment .

Get letters from teachers talking about how involved you are. Coach their sports activities, volunteer at school, do everything you can to be involved and document it. If you are involved you will likely get joint custody (a legal term that doesn’t equate to visitation). That will lead to the opportunity to get generous visitation. The younger the child is the more the courts want to see a routine. When that routine is established, it becomes difficult to change. The older the child gets, the more moderate courts become toward the need to be rigid with routines and the more they respond to allow generous visitation with both parents.

So if you’re an unwed father who can take care of yourself and your child your odds of getting generous visitation are good. Just make sure you stay focused on the benefits of the child and not the failed relationship with their mother.