Managing the Drama While Keeping Cool with the Evaluator

By this time you already know you are in a high conflict child custody battle but the drama just won’t go away. No matter how hard you try to keep away from the drama it just keeps following you around. You beg and plead, no matter what you do it is always met with resistance and claims of just another thing you have done wrong. Now you need to meet with the evaluator and you have no idea what kind of drama the other parent may try to use against you.

It is very disheartening to try and prepare for a meeting with the evaluator and realize that your high conflict relationship is going to be the focus of your meeting. The real question becomes, how do you make a silk purse out of a sows ear? Well there is a way. If you have truly focused on issues that are of importance to your child and the other parent has made drama, you can use this to your advantage. Here’s how.

Since the evaluator is focused on the best interest of the child and not the accompanying drama and personal attacks you can use the personal attacks and drama to your advantage. What you want to show is that you have been focused on issues that concern your child but that the other parent has been focused on creating drama, making accusations, talking about moral issues, or any other thing that does not directly affect the child.

You may be tempted to rant about the other parent and the constant level of high conflict between you. Instead spend just enough time to address that while it is an issue, the only reason it is and issue is because the other parent focuses on it.

Do your best to document each instance when the anxiety is brought up. Document each phone call, email, text, and conversation where the focus on the child was lost. The more times you can document, the better your argument that you are bombarded by drama. If you ask for help to eliminate the drama, you may just get it.

So remember that the more you document this phenomenon, the better your chances of getting help to stop it and the better the chances of winning your child custody battle.