Looking Organized, Despite the Drama, When you Get to Court

You have been put through the ringer with the other parent. You are frazzled, frustrated, bent, and twisted beyond your limits. How do you explain all of this to the judge when you get to court?

It can be overwhelming to a parent to walk into a hearing for the first time and take in all of the proceedings as they unfold. Of course what is going through your head is the worry about what the judge is going to say about your case, and more importantly whose side they are going take. Since you have never been through this before there are many unknowns

This is really the frustrating part is not knowing what you don’t know. How can you possibly know what the judge is going to think, say, or do when you don’t know what they are looking for. The only thing you are sure of is that if you are able to speak to the judge and tell them all of things you know about the other parent, they will surely understand your point of view and throw the book at them for being such a despicable parent and ex.

Well, guess what? They only have 15 minutes to hear your case before they move on. They have already read your filings and  they will use 5 minutes talking to you, 5 minutes talking to the other parent, and 5 minutes asking questions, instructing you, and making a ruling. How do you think you should use your 5 minutes?

This is where the organized part comes in. If you only have 5 minutes with the judge don’t you think you should make it count? You don’t want to be trying to explain what was in your filing, but you do want to reinforce to points that you made there and how you would like to see the issues resolved. So organization starts when you create your filing.

Thinking now about what you want to have the judge focus on for your 5 minutes, are you concerned about your ex or your children? Good choice, children it is. You probably need the judge to understand you are an involved and loving parent and that you are naturally concerned about your child's safety. The person the ex is dating doesn’t come in here unless you have proof that your child are in danger. For instance, court records showing this person is an ex felon and convicted child molester Spouting that you think they sell pills or dope isn’t proof. It is just an allegation that you can’t prove and it makes you look petty, not concerned. Spend your time on facts.

Try this for organization. Your children have a routine that they should keep. Helping them keep that routine and allowing time with the other parent the reinforces those routines will make judges happy about how they are going to rule. Focusing on drama, what you think and the other parents moral issues are not only a waste of time but draw attention away from what you want to focus on.

The best organization you can have is to focus on how you want to spend that 5 minutes with the judge and how it will affect your child.