“Losing Custody” All or Nothing?

When it comes to understanding the term “physical custody” there is always confusion over the legal definition. Nobody wants to be the parent that “Loses Custody”. But is it really all or nothing? Isn’t there a different alternative to losing?

When it comes to physical custody the perception is that it is an all or nothing proposition, but that isn’t really how it works. While it may be most common for one parent to have sole legal and sole physical custody of the child it is also very common for both parents to have joint legal and joint physical custody. This doesn’t necessarily mean an equal 50/50 time split, it just means that they both have equal legal rights when it comes to the child.

If you are in a battle and are fighting for sole physical custody because you fear not seeing your child, you may want to change your focus to asking for joint legal custody first and timeshare second. While these are related they are not the same thing. Even if you ended up without  sole or joint physical custody, you can still get regular visitation (every other weekend typically) so the thing you want to establish is your legal rights.

It might help you to understand that there is one other person with rights in this equation, your child. Your child has the right to have a relationship with you  free from interference from the other parent. If you focus on your rights, the child's rights to visitation will help you get the rest of what you need. Plan your strategy accordingly.

The other type we haven’t talked about yet is “Legal Custody”.  I believe this is the most important thing to focus on. This gives you the right to contribute to and make critical decisions in your child's life. These are decisions like health, school, and religion. If you convince the court that you should joint legal custody, there is little reason why you shouldn’t have generous visitation too. So remember that you want to focus on joint legal custody, not losing it. If you have this the rest will follow.

Make sure to build bonds with your child through everyday rituals like dinner at the dinner table, reading a bedtime story or doing a favorite hobby together. These are very important tools to securing your rights.