Child Custody - Observations from the Real-World Family Courthouse

I always love to people watch when I am at the courthouse. The reason is that I always get affirmation from watching others that children have all the rights, parents just don’t get it, and judges have very tough jobs.

The more time I spend in court for child custody, the more I love to people watch. As I sat in the main hall of the courthouse today waiting for the court door to be opened, I watched all of the days players walk through the metal detectors, having their briefcases and bags examined, being wanded by the sheriffs deputies and performing their intricate dance, I truly began to understand that this a type of community.

Several realizations popped to mind as I watched. The Deputies, Clerks, Supervisors, Mediators, Judges all are in their workspace and everyone one else is just an interloper in their world. This puts them all as co-workers and associates. Conclusion, co-workers and associates watch out for each other. Don’t make one made, because you don’t know what type of relationship they have with others in the courthouse.

My ex-attorney, to whom I am deeply grateful, once told me that there is an old saying; “Criminal Court is where you see the worst people at their best”, and “Family Court is where you see the best people at their worst”. Well you can certainly tell that is true when you look at couples in the courtroom who have an obvious dislike for one another. Their body language is very uncomfortable. They look away from each other and you can feel the tension. BRRRRR….

I loved the street savvy guys dressed in their cool clothes who don’t like that they had to follow the rules. I loved the people who claimed to be clueless. They answer with “I don’t know”, “maybe”, “could have been”, or just silence. Seriously, just read the instructions and fill out the form.

You have to love the deputies that watch these guys with attitude and keep the parties with restraining orders away from each other. The woman that looked like she was headed out clubbing was “intriguing” and made me wonder if she had look in the mirror before leaving home. My personal favorite today was a guy who reminded me of a kid bringing home a note from school. He rattled this note for 30 minutes easy. Turns out it was the papers he was served with. He had then in a plastic bag like you would get at Subway, he wadded them up and straightened them out repeatedly, including in front of the microphone where it was highly amplified, then put the whole thing in his pocket just to start again. I don’t know how the judge put up with it, much less made an appointment for him to get help to file a response.

Somehow seeing the rest of the world in conflict makes mine seem a lot more normal. I was grateful that I had experienced the rest of the real world.