Child Custody - Family Courthouse Etiquette 10 Do’s and 10 Don’ts

When you head off to child custody court you definitely want to make a good impression. But going to court usually means your emotions are running high and people may not be at their best. Here’s a look at some things to watch for.
I always find going to child custody court equally nerve racking and educational.  After being there so frequently I have really started to notice both common traits and some individuals. Trust me; the courthouse is a very interesting place to people watch.

I arrived early at the courthouse today to take care of some business before my hearing. I noticed the people walking through the door and watched their demeanor, their dress, and their level of comfort as they went through the metal detectors and sheriffs wands. You can tell the people that come frequently as they smile and cooperate with the sheriffs as they do their job. Others look very uncomfortable and the process seems foreign to them.

I would categorize the people I see in court in 3 ways:

1. Those who are respectful of the court and are comfortable
2. Those who are disrespectful, hate being there and show it
3. Those who are clueless about the whole process and have no idea what to do

No matter which category you might be in, you will always find something to learn from the other categories. If this is your first time and you are nervous (I know I was and still am), be aware that this is normal. Watch those that are comfortable and learn from them.

The title of this article promises some guidelines but I wanted to lay quick foundation before getting to those.

Here’s our “Do” list:

1. Do be on time
2. Do have your paperwork
3. Do be organized
4. Do pay attention to what is said before court starts
5. Do follow what is asked of you while there
6. Do dress nicely
7. Do be courteous to the court staff, sheriffs included.
8. Do have your list of important points
9. Do be prepared for mitigating a bad outcome
10. Do observe, watch, listen and learn from others

You want to make sure you don’t set yourself up for failure. The only thing worse than going to court and thinking you might have a problem, is going and making a problem that you could have avoided.

Here’s our “Don’t” list.

1. Don’t be late, you could end up with a default judgment
2. Don’t dress poorly, no t-shirts, no shorts, no looking like your clubbing afterwards
3. Don’t fumble through your paperwork
4. Don’t make the court staff or judge have to repeat themselves
5. Don’t talk over the judge - EVER
6. Don’t say anything (like uh-huh, yep, I know) until you are asked to speak
7. Don’t chew gum (I swear I saw it again today, and they had to spit it out)
8. Don’t be disrespectful of any court staff (these people work together everyday who do you think will win?)
9. Don’t come without bullet points to speak to
10. Don’t let a bad outcome on one item totally derail, file it an move to your next point

So the next time you head to child custody court remember that this is a process and part of the process is the education you get from watching others.

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