Child Custody False Allegations - Defeating False Accusations - Mental Abuse

When it comes to playing dirty the worst trick in the book is to falsely accuse someone of a crime against their own child. It will make your blood boil and take you completely off of your child custody strategy. It creates the worst possible relationship between parents. It takes a special brand of “evil” to do that to a child.

Make no mistake, falsely accusing a parent of abuse is a crime against the child because it is ultimately the child who will pay the price of having parents at each other’s throats instead of having them cooperate for their benefit. In fact in some states (including California) if one parent falsely accuses the other parent of abuse, it is considered grounds to have custody terminated.

It is helpful to first define what Mental Abuse is. Mental Abuse is defined as belittling, humiliating, name calling, shaming, making negative comparisons, yelling, threatening, bullying, exposing to inappropriate behaviors or situations.

Having the definition is one of the best tool you can have to not only survive this accusation but to defeat it. In order to turn this around it is helpful to know that Mental Abuse is typically learned and is lifelong. It does not just pop up one day. In short it is the type of thing that has a history. Like other forms of abuse, if it is a serious accusation, then it should be reported to Child Protective Services (CPS). Failure of the other parent to report it prior to a custody battle can help prove the lack of a history.

One of the best things that can happen to you, if you are falsely accused, is to have CPS investigate the claim. Yes, it is a good thing. These are professionals that can identify and separate real claims from  false. If you find yourself talking to CPS out of the blue, the first thing you should say is, “did the other parent mention that we are in the middle of a custody battle?”. This gives them an immediate reason to draw a conclusion in your favor. Once they have concluded that there is no basis you can now boast about it.

If the accusation is made in mediation or with an evaluator the question you need to ask is, “If this is true, why didn’t they call CPS?”. The mediator or evaluator can then conclude that they didn’t call because it wasn’t true.

Keep in mind that there is a history with abuse. If you have correspondence from the other parent about, daycare, child support, expenses, and stuff, then why wasn’t there ever a message about abuse? The answer is, “because there wasn’t any”.

I understand that this is an extremely ugly allegation to have made against you, but if you are smart, in the long run it can work for you an against them.


Child Custody Articles

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  • 11 Common False Allegations

  • “Baby Momma Drama” Does this Stuff Belong in Court?

  • Can Visitation Be Withheld If One Parent Doesn’t Pay it?

  • Do I Have to Follow the Vacation Schedule?

  • How Does the Court Decide Who the Child Lives With?

  • How do Daycare Expenses Get Calculated and Who Pays Them?

  • How is Child Support Calulated?

  • How to Prevent Drama during Exchanges

  • If I Move do I Have to Tell the Other Parent?

  • Learn to Speak the Language – 9 Legal Terms You Should Know

  • Make False Child Abuse Allegations Work for You

  • Parenting in a High Conflict Relationship

  • Steps to Handle Problematic Exchanges

  • Strategies to get Your Visitation Order Revised

  • Stategy Tips for Unwed Fathers to Share Custody

  • 7 Strategies to Improve Your Visitation Timeshare

  • High Conflict Child Custody – If You’re Being Starved Out, You’re not Alone

  • Is It Child Support or Paying The Bills?

  • Defeating False Accusations - Mental Abuse

  • How to "Flip" Drug Abuse False Allegations and Make Them Work for You

  • Child Custody Evaluations – False Allegations, Laying a Trap

  • Evaluations – Preparing for Dirty Tactics, Surviving, and Winning

  • Family Courthouse etiquette 10 Do’s and 10 Don’ts

  • Helping Your Child Understand What is Happening

  • Holding Your Angry Ex at Bay While Navigating Child Visitation

  • Observations from the Real-World Family Courthouse

  • How to Build and Use Bonds to Improve Your Visitation Timeshare

  • 7 Ways to Improve Your Chances of Getting Physical Custody

  • “Losing Custody” All or Nothing?
    2 Proven "Flips" to Make False Child Abuse Allegations Work for You

  • Making a Change When Exchanges Go Wrong

  • Turning the Tables on False Allegations
    Visitation and Physical Custody - What are the Differences?

  • What You Need to Know About Custody Evaluators

  • When You Write Your Motion, Think About Your 15 Minutes in Court

  • False Allegations, Dirty Tactics,
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  • I Can’t Believe The Judge in My Case Didn’t Side With Me, What Can I Do?

  • An Honest Parents Guide to Understanding Dirty Tactics

  • Mediation, Assessment, Evaluation, Dealing With a Dishonest Parent