Child Custody False Allegations - Defeating False Accusations - Mental Abuse

When it comes to playing dirty the worst trick in the book is to falsely accuse someone of a crime against their own child. It will make your blood boil and take you completely off of your child custody strategy. It creates the worst possible relationship between parents. It takes a special brand of “evil” to do that to a child.

Make no mistake, falsely accusing a parent of abuse is a crime against the child because it is ultimately the child who will pay the price of having parents at each other’s throats instead of having them cooperate for their benefit. In fact in some states (including California) if one parent falsely accuses the other parent of abuse, it is considered grounds to have custody terminated.

It is helpful to first define what Mental Abuse is. Mental Abuse is defined as belittling, humiliating, name calling, shaming, making negative comparisons, yelling, threatening, bullying, exposing to inappropriate behaviors or situations.

Having the definition is one of the best tool you can have to not only survive this accusation but to defeat it. In order to turn this around it is helpful to know that Mental Abuse is typically learned and is lifelong. It does not just pop up one day. In short it is the type of thing that has a history. Like other forms of abuse, if it is a serious accusation, then it should be reported to Child Protective Services (CPS). Failure of the other parent to report it prior to a custody battle can help prove the lack of a history.

One of the best things that can happen to you, if you are falsely accused, is to have CPS investigate the claim. Yes, it is a good thing. These are professionals that can identify and separate real claims from false. If you find yourself talking to CPS out of the blue, the first thing you should say is, “did the other parent mention that we are in the middle of a custody battle?”. This gives them an immediate reason to draw a conclusion in your favor. Once they have concluded that there is no basis you can now boast about it.

If the accusation is made in mediation or with an evaluator the question you need to ask is, “If this is true, why didn’t they call CPS?”. The mediator or evaluator can then conclude that they didn’t call because it wasn’t true.

Keep in mind that there is a history with abuse. If you have correspondence from the other parent about, daycare, child support, expenses, and stuff, then why wasn’t there ever a message about abuse? The answer is, “because there wasn’t any”.

I understand that this is an extremely ugly allegation to have made against you, but if you are smart, in the long run it can work for you an against them.