Child Custody - I Can’t Believe The Judge in My Case Didn’t Side With Me, What Can I Do?

I have seen a large number of child custody posts where people complain about the outcome of their hearings. But is the problem really with the judges, attorneys, and court system or is there another possibility?

The Family Law division of the court system is setup so that individuals can navigate it without an attorney. Of course because the average layperson is not familiar with the ins and outs of the court processes they can make errors without knowing it. Sometimes those errors can be costly. When people don’t have a basic knowledge of their local jurisdictions family law guidelines, it can lead to sever confusion and motions being thrown out of court because basic rules or requirements were not followed. Even the obvious can become an issue if the rules are not followed and that can lead to hurt, anger, and criticism of the court system.

If a motion is filed but is not served to the other parent by the time it was required, then the court hearing does not have to go forward. Normally the hearing is rescheduled giving enough time for the other parent to be served. If a parent wants to introduce evidence but does not include that evidence in the motion, then it may not be allowed at the hearing and the hearing may not provide the results that were expected. Even if the evidence clearly shows that the change is warranted, it may be a moot point because it wasn’t provided to the other party before court. This can result in an accusation that the court is tainted because despite evidence that a change should be made, it didn’t happen. The problem is that the court cannot bend the rules, period. What should happen is that the person who made the error should learn from that error and move on.

There is also the case of a temporary judge who fills in for the regular judge and is not familiar with family law cases. These can be very aggravating because while they are attempting to fill in and do a good job, the rules for family court are very different from criminal court or any other court. This can be devastating in that while you are playing by the rules, the rules have changed. You could file a new motion but it becomes a very difficult problem to solve.

Finally the issue of not managing expectations is the reason I believe that many people are angry with the court system. If a person has a problem with the other parent that they believe the legal system should recognize and punish, they can be very disappointed when the find out that the person is not punished but perhaps even rewarded. This appears to happen in issues that are raised from a moral belief and not a legal one. For instance if someone cheated on a spouse, the parent will not be punished by having their parental rights removed and never seeing the child again. In fact the parent could end up with equal visitation or even more. The reason is that unless the cheating directly involved the child it probably isn’t legally relevant to child visitation.

While moral behavior may offend some, just the fact that morals are involved means that it is likely not a legal issue but an issue of personal judgment by the offended party. Blaming rulings not based on morals is not a crime or court issue. It is a perception problem by the offended party.