High Conflict Child Custody – If You’re Being Starved Out, You’re not Alone

Unfortunately high conflict child custody relationships are all too common. Shortly after a breakup tensions are running high and each parent is trying to establish control. The sad truth is everyone suffers in this conflict but the child pays the ultimate price.

Every police officer learns early in academy training that the most dangerous calls they face are domestic calls. People who were once a family are now at each other's throats. It is also common that people patch things up and then get back together only to get back into the same rut of an argument. But what happens when you finally have the courage and decide to make the break?

Once you finally make the break (and it frequently happens more than once) you can expect to be boarded with threats and accusations. Of course the element you have that keeps you in close contact with your high conflict child custody collaborator is the child. In most cases, be honest, both parties keep the conflict going. You may not start it each time but you’re not willing to back down when confronted either. If you’re going to make a go of it, you’re going to need to disengage and find a way to keep from being pulled back in.

The more successful you are in finding your own way and disengaging, the more likely you are to have with the ex. If you have successfully filed for alimony or child support and it is starting to look like you might make it on your own, you are likely to run into problems when it comes to collecting the money you’re owed. If you didn’t file for support, you should do it now. If you want to keep from making waves and are trying to be nice by not filing or collecting, get a hold on yourself and file or collect it, they are trying to starve you out. No you’re not alone, this happens quite often.

Go to court, or go back to court, and get a wage assignment. Open a case with your states version of “Child Support Services” and let them collect it for you. Be smart and document that the ex won’t pay so that when you file that becomes the reason the court gives you the right to let the state collect it. Keep your emails, texts, and phone recordings that back up your claim. You’ll need them later.

Do whatever it takes to get the rent paid and keep from going back until you can get the money flowing. In fact, if you can let them know the rent got paid (don’t tell them how because they don’t deserve to know and it isn’t their business) they will very likely pay you because they will feel pressured to pay something or tell the judge why they didn’t.

Remember, you’re not the first to be faced with being starved out, you won’t be the last, and you shouldn’t feel embarrassed. Other's made it through and you can too. Be smart.